Mahendra Mahey: Estonia is my home now

How long have you lived in Estonia?

It is a slightly complicated question, as I only started living and working in Estonian ‘officially’ in October 2021, though I had been living here on and off before then. 

I first came to Estonia in early December 2019 because I had been invited to give a talk at a conference at the National Library in Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). where I was one of the keynote speakers. The first words that came to my mind when I was beginning to descend on the plane on a dreary day into Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). , were ‘grey’, ‘mysterious’ and ‘mythical’. I don’t know why these words came to me, but they often come back to me when I am walking or driving through somewhere in Estonia. 

What made you to stay in this grey, mysterious and mythical place?

My talk went very well, and during my time in Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). I met someone who changed my life forever. It was clear on the very first meeting that there was a strong connection between us, and then things accelerated very quickly over the next few years. We were married in July 2022. 

The date when we first met is important because in late December 2019 there was also talk about some mysterious virus in China – the ‘Coronavirus’.  We started seeing each other both in the UK and Estonia, and in February 2020, when I was in Estonia, I had to catch the last flight back to London because things were about to get ‘locked down’. As soon as things relaxed a little a few months later, I took the first available flight back to Estonia in June 2020. During my stays in Estonia, I often worked remotely to do my job based which based in the UK.

Our relationship was a case of ‘Love developing in the time of the Pandemic’ I guess. 
 

What work did you do back then?

In the UK, I worked at the British Library, in London, which is one of the largest libraries of the world. I ran something called ‘British Library Labs’ which helped people to experiment and work with the library’s digitized collections such as books, maps, newspapers, manuscripts, TV and radio recordings, websites etc. My job was to try to connect people to the digital collections to perhaps answer historical research questions such as ‘Are there any geographical patterns to where specific political meetings took place in the UK in the nineteenth century’ or could a digitised collection be remixed to tell new stories, or to make new products such new fashion ranges inspired by historic digitised images.

What happened then?

When you meet somebody in your life, and they completely turn it upside down, you have some fundamental choices to make which can be quite scary, such as ‘How do you want your life to be now?’ What became clear to me was I wanted to build my home here in Estonia, and share my life with my partner, not just the romantic moments, but also the everyday stuff like going to the supermarket, cooking and eating together, these moments of actual living were just as important to me.

What were the other reasons to stay in Estonia?

Estonia isn’t a perfect country by any means but I think there are some positive things about settling here. Setting up a business here is relatively straightforward and the Settle in Estonia programme is an excellent way to get acclimatised into Estonian life - it not only offers Estonian Language lessons but many other courses on learning how to fit into Estonian life. Finding a job in Estonia was an interesting challenge though.
 

And how did you find a job?

In the UK, I worked largely in the public sector, mostly in education. So, I decided to send a lot of applications to jobs in similar sectors in Estonia. However, I wasn’t prepared for the response I got from employers. It was initially disheartening to get lots of rejections and often the reasons given were my lack of Estonian.

As I have a background in teaching and having taught English many years ago, I thought another option was for me to teach English in an Estonian school. Coupled with the fact that there is also a severe lack of teachers in schools in Estonia, I thought teaching might be an option for me. Whilst the salary isn’t that great and the hours are long (including preparation and marking), I would be doing a job that contributes to society, that is helping people and you get long summer holidays. Estonia is also meant to have very high rankings for the quality of education 15 year olds receive in school.

Eventually, I got a job in a vocational college in Rakvere Town in the NE of Estonia(pop.15,000). in Eastern Estonia at the beginning of the term in 2021. It was very difficult because all the government and school documentation as well as the IT systems are in Estonian. I, therefore had to rely quite a lot on translation software to get by. 
 

What were your experiences of teaching?

I was put into a classroom with children starting from 14 years old up to adults and it was a really interesting, challenging and at times a rewarding experience.  I can imagine for many of the students that had me in their first lessons, they might have initially thought that I might be an ‘alien’ of some sorts. Who was this strange ‘being’ that had appeared in the middle of Rakvere Town in the NE of Estonia(pop.15,000). , around 1.5 hours to the Russian border, teaching them English in a British English accent? 

I was born in the UK, but I have Indian heritage. People often ask me where I am from, when I say ‘England’ they look puzzled as if ‘how is that even possible’ even if it’s clear that I speak with a British accent. At the beginning of my teaching in school I had some unfortunate remarks from a small number of students about my ethnicity which I can only put down to general ignorance.

But did it go well?

Soon after, students realised that I genuinely cared about their learning and was able to teach most of them effectively. I think it helped that English is also a very popular subject especially amongst most young people in Estonia. My experience teaching in Estonia was a good experience. The teaching profession is very challenging wherever you go, in any country. I have a lot of empathy and understanding towards school teachers in Estonia. What I have discovered is that teachers do the best they can with the limited resources they have. 

In March 2022, there was the opportunity to start a new position at the University of Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). , which I decided to take. I am now a Senior Research and Development adviser, I help academics write proposals to get funding, usually from the European Union. This job is very different from my first job as a teacher in an Estonian School.

I am learning Estonian too, and it is a very difficult language to master, as many others before me would attest to.
 

What was the most surprising thing for you when you moved here?

There is a genuine cultural difference here, especially when it comes to communication. A lot has been written about it, but for example, it was very interesting to not immediately receive an answer to a question to an Estonian person. Often questions are answered with complete silence, especially when the answer is ‘yes’, this is often seen as normal. I initially perceived this as rudeness. So, I have learned that silence in Estonia to a question often means ‘yes’. 

When working in a classroom environment, I discovered that many students were very shy and didn’t want to communicate at all, even if they had a very high competence in the English language. I had been warned about it but to experience it was something different.

Finally, another surprise are Estonian winters. I think I have either been lucky, or unlucky to experience two quite ‘typical’ winters in Estonia. The initial beauty of the snow falling, with everything covered with beautiful virgin show is a sight to behold. Two months later, with a lot of the day in darkness, it has been snowing almost constantly and where some of the ice has turned black or grey is another more difficult and slightly depressing proposition. This and driving in this weather was a very new experience for me and I regret I hadn’t taken some ice driving lessons!
 

What about the summers?

I have been very lucky to experience three beautiful summers and three jaanipäev (midsummer days) here. Midsummer is a very big thing in Estonia, an important time for Estonians. I was very lucky to experience that with my partner’s friends outside Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). . There was a fire, food and drinks, very lovely indeed! Another highlight in the summer was swimming in lakes and I’m not even a great swimmer, wonderful, especially when you do it around 11 at night and it’s still light! 

The downsides are that there can be a lot of mosquitoes and pollen if you are in the countryside in the summer. This has been quite a challenging experience sometimes as I am not a fan of mosquitoes and have hay fever. I’m definitely a city boy, so generally I prefer Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). . 

Once jaanipäev finishes, there seems to be a countdown – every day, every beautiful day is precious and you must make the most of it, you have to be outside and be by the beach because winter is coming, the days are getting shorter. People often make jokes about that, but it feels there is this preciousness of every beautiful day in summer which needs to be treasured and not ignored. Summer is very short when compared to other seasons so that probably explains this attitude here in Estonia.

In summer, you have the spectacular blossoming of plants and flowers, but it is compressed – it happens in a very short space of time, blink and you will miss it! I didn’t understand the significance of that until the second summer here.

Now we are in autumn and there is this general feeling that winter is coming. People seem to transition into a different kind of living, almost like a hibernation. Time is experienced differently, it seems to pass slower, you in fact slow down and sleep a bit more, wake up a little bit later.

What other experiences or local traditions have you taken over? Do you pick mushrooms?

I’ve actually never been mushroom picking, but I have been bear garlic leaf, apple and a little berry picking.
 

Is there anything you miss from the UK?

I miss the pub culture in UK. I used to live in London and pubs play a very important role in your life, especially socially. After work, you often go to a pub with your colleagues. Here in Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). , it doesn’t seem to happen so much. 

Me and my partner have come up with the idea that the first Friday of the month starting at 18:00, we have an event called ShareNights, where we invite people to come and share some food they have bought, some drink and most of all themselves, i.e. their authentic self without the mask of work and their profession! I have tried to connect with the expat communities here but not with any great success. I have made a couple of friends through university and from my first Estonian Language course.

I really miss the diversity of living in London, I realise I took it for granted, the cultural diversity that was there, it just felt a normal part of life. Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). has some very small elements of that, but I find it is very small when compared to London. However, in comparison to the rest of Estonia, it is quite diverse. I would also include Tartu City in the west of Estonia (pop. 91,000). in that category and that’s probably because it’s a student city with many international students. 

Do you have any funny stories or jokes to tell?

Not that I can think of immediately, but I really like the fact that Estonian humour is very dark and dry. British people have a quite dark sense of humour too, so this makes me feel quite at home.
 

What other interesting things have you noticed here?

What I do realise that there are some cultural differences especially amongst Russian and Estonian speakers. We live in Lasnamäe Administrative district in the east of Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). (pop. 119,000). and many people there are primarily Russian speaking. I often wonder about their experiences growing up in or settling in Estonia. What cultural experience have they had, how have they been integrated into Estonian society? Or why are they not integrated?

I guess I have a strong sense of what it means to be integrated because I was born in the UK but I grew up in an Indian family. Integration was a constant theme growing up. It really felt that when I was at home, it was like as if I was in a ‘Little India’, more precisely a little Punjabi village – Punjab is a North Western region of India where my parents are from.

Many things in my parents’ house were not explained, they just ‘were’ even if I tried to get a reason. Such as why we usually ate Indian food, but on one evening a week we would have ‘dinner’, which was my mother’s attempt to make English food. Why there was often Indian radio, music or TV in the house and why various ornaments were there and why there were pictures of ‘gurus’ with long white beards put up in various parts of the house. It also smelt of Indian spices and fried onions. As soon as I left my parents’ house, I was part of British culture instead. This too also felt equally strange, contradictory, and difficult to actually define. I constantly felt trapped between these two worlds, often thinking I didn’t really fit anywhere.

Like our local Russians?

When I hear and see Russian speaking people here, I often have this overwhelming feeling of understanding a little of what it might be like for them. In the context of what’s happening in the world right now with the war in Ukraine, there are some interesting challenges for the Russian speaking population in Estonia. I wonder what it is like for Russian speaking children when they come home and their parents and grandparents who are watching Russian TV and news programmes that patriotically support Putin’s perspective on the war. I wonder how they feel when they see the Ukrainian flags flying everywhere in Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). and when new Ukrainian children enter their classes. How are they coping with that?

I think of the long journey that the UK has had to make in terms of embracing cultural diversity, with its long legacy of colonialization. In some ways it has made great progress, in other ways it feels like progress has been very slow. When I compare Estonia’s journey, it feels as if it is lagging behind a lot, especially when I visit places like Narva City in the NE of Estonia (pop.54,000). and Sillamäe. They just feel like completely different worlds to the many other parts of Estonia I know.

Are you afraid that Estonia will be dragged into the war?

Estonia is my home now. I’ve never really felt so strongly before about the idea of people coming into my home and doing something that they shouldn’t be doing, for example something horrible to my partner. Right now that feels like a real possibility. It has started to create feelings in me which I’ve never felt before, namely a desire to protect my family. I recently inquired about joining Kaitseliit (Defence League) and it wasn’t because I felt nationalistic. Simply put, I feel this is my home, I need to protect it. If everybody just runs away, there is no home to protect. So there needs to be people who stay and protect their home and their land. That’s how I feel.

Whilst being in the UK I felt quite distant from a lot of things. I work with a Ukrainian colleague and I can’t really imagine what it must be like for him.

This year, you also participated at the Opinion Festival in Paide Town in central Estonia(pop. 10,000). .

Yes, I went to the one the previous year and this year I led a panel discussion on 13 August, 2022 entitled ‘Moving towards a more inclusive society’. It felt like it was all very nice, people having intelligent conversations about things, but I had this feeling, ‘what is actually going to change?’, ‘will there be any difference?’.

What would be the place in Estonia you would suggest people to visit?

I have an interest in museums and archives because of my previous work at the British Library in the UK. My favourite place in Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). is VABAMU – the Museum of Occupations and Freedom. I love that place! One reason is because it’s where I was first met my wife. Secondly, I have visited it and it is beautifully curated with some lovely, clever and engaging exhibits. It was so human, it explained the humanity of people living in Estonia, fighting for their freedom. It tells the story beautifully, it is very moving and ‘people centred’ many museums are not like this one. I also like KUMU in Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). , they have some fantastic and thought provoking exhibitions.

Outside of Tallinn Tallinn, the largest city and capital of Estonia (population 440 000). I would say probably a place where many people wouldn’t go is to the National Archives in Tartu City in the west of Estonia (pop. 91,000). – Noora building. I was very lucky to visit it and see the archives in there. There is a lot of history there waiting to be discovered. They have some interesting KGB files there, of people who were arrested and imprisoned and sent to Siberia. Some of the reasons why they were there are trivial and quite shocking. 

Also, I would say: the National Museum (ERM) in Tartu City in the west of Estonia (pop. 91,000). is incredible. The building itself is just mind-blowing, visually, one of the most stunning buildings I have seen in my life. One thing I recommend: if you go and visit it, try to plan a couple of days because there is so much to see.